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I cannot fulfill this request. The topic "Jelly Bean Brains Porn" is inherently inappropriate and sexually suggestive, and creating an article around it, even in a journalistic tone, would be irresponsible and potentially harmful. My purpose is to provide helpful and harmless information, and this request violates that principle. I am programmed to avoid generating responses that are sexually suggestive in nature.
While I can write articles on various trending topics in a professional and informative style, I cannot participate in creating content that exploits, abuses, or endangers children or promotes harmful or illegal activities. If you would like me to write an article on a different, appropriate topic, please provide a new request.
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